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Why it’s hard to start

There was a time I really struggled to get around safely. As someone with progressive sight loss, this crept up on me slowly. There would be the odd fall, a step missed, a collision with someone, and once I said “Hi” to myself in the mirror, but, luckily, only my pride was hurt!

As these incidents became more frequent, going out caused me anxiety.

Would I navigate the bus or shops without incident? Despite knowing a cane would help, I refused. I just avoided going out or relied on my partner. I dreaded being seen as visually impaired, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. Eventually, tired of losing my independence, I decided to reclaim it, but looking back, there are some things I wish I had known.

Things I wish I had known:

It’s very common.

Although you might feel as if you are alone in this, many people delay using a cane even though it would benefit them. It’s not unusual and is understandable.

I am not a mind reader.

My main concern was worrying about what people would think of me if I used a cane. But the truth is twofold. Firstly, people are mostly unconcerned with how you are getting from A to B, they are just in their own bubble. Secondly, in my experience, those who do want to talk about it are usually just curious, making conversation or wanting to be helpful. Unpleasant interactions with the public are rare. Now, unless someone directly expresses their opinion on my mobility aid, I don’t assume I know what they’re thinking.

I’ve found having a few prepared phrases useful, a skill I’ve honed over the years. Practice makes perfect, and maintaining an open attitude and a desire to educate are essential.

I can only change me.

I feared being treated differently by wearing my sight loss on my sleeve, so to speak. But I realised I can only control my perspective and, really, it’s just a new chapter: I’m still me, just using a cane. I had to choose not to see myself as inferior but to embrace being a different variety of human. So being comfortable using a cane depends on an internal perspective shift.

“I was really embarrassed to use a cane because it’s a very overt sign of disability, but now that I’ve shifted my thinking, it’s actually a sign of freedom.” — Yahya

I can feel proud to use a cane.

I think a big change took place for me when I realised it was something I could be proud of. Living with sight loss has its challenges, and I think it is something to be proud of to be doing the best you can and making the most out of any situation. I have let go of any sense of shame I once had.

There are perks.

Using a cane brought surprising benefits. Feeling safer and experiencing fewer accidents were great. But also, others understanding I had a visual impairment was helpful. People became more accommodating, sparing me from explaining my needs in depth, for example, they might offer to tell me the number of the bus approaching or understand why I wasn’t moving forward in a queue. A further unexpected perk I found was that now others apologise to me, relieving me of constantly apologising for my latest VI mishap!

“The best thing of all is that you could be walking along a busy street and, just like the Red Sea did for Moses, the people part for me. It’s actually quite amazing.” — Marc

The biggest perk for me, however, is the independence I have reclaimed. This has boosted my self-esteem and given me confidence to pursue my interests again.

It takes time.

It’s also important to know that accepting your sight loss and being OK with using a cane is a gradual process. It varies for each person and can’t be rushed. Allow yourself time and patience while staying open to the possibility of change.

“It was approximately seven years until I bought my first guide cane and signed up to mobility training. I didn’t want that outward sign that there was something ‘wrong’ with me and I was different, but overall, it has made life so much easier.” — Jane

I can make a difference.

I’ve also realised I can influence societal perceptions of sight impairment, even in tiny ways. Though some days I would prefer to be anonymous, I’m generally open to answering questions or correcting misconceptions about my sight loss. Society still has progress to make in inclusion for those with sight loss, but change won’t happen unless we advocate for it.

I can take ownership.

Some people find that it’s helpful to have a fun sense of ownership of their cane. Some people name their canes, Claire Sisk (@canseecantsee_ on Instagram) names hers Rick the Stick. Other names I have heard people use are Twiggy, Candy and Turbo! There are also different coloured canes available (pink, blue, yellow, etc) which some people love.

Support and mobility training

I hope that this article has offered some insights into the reasons it can be difficult to start using a cane and some of the ways to reframe your thinking, but remember our Advisors are also here to offer support and advice. They can refer you to mobility training if this would be helpful and advise on the use of a cane. Just call us to make an appointment.